Just some things.

I've decided to start writing every day.
Even if nothing happens, i'll write my feelings, my thoughts, and my concerns.

Today I was riding in the car with my mom and for some reason I finally realized that no one can tell you who to be. Today, at 3:45 pm, I finally figured out who I was.

I am simply a 'thing' that was put on this earth as a test. And this 'thing' that I call myself is made up of several components.

Determination. The urge to better myself and the world each passing day. Self- Respect. And Independence.

I was seven when I finally realized how big of a trait my determination really was. I was sitting at the pool with my big brother. I was drinking Root Beer with him with our feet in the water, and he pushed me in. As I frantically came up from under the water I will never forget the look on his face. He look horrified. He knew what I would do before I had even processed what happened. He ran off the deck and I chased him around the house 17 times, and when I finally tackled him, I said- "Do you wanna just have me push you in now or later?" He never pushed me in the pool again.

I believe I was either 11 or 12 when I realized how much I want to make a difference in the world. I always wondered why my cousin never ate meat but I never had the courage to ask her. It turns out she was a vegatarian. I never understood why, meat tasted fantastic. Until she sat down and told me how they get the meat. Every day since then has been a constant struggle to not eat meat, always failing. Today is the day I didn't eat meat at all. I am so proud of myself. Hopefully this will go on for a while.

I've always had some type of Self Respect. It just got stronger as I grew older. I have never been one to let people walk all over me. I am not afraid to tell someone when I don't like something or when I think something is wrong with what they are doing. I refuse to let people take advantage of me and that has been a trait of mine for as long as I can remember.

Being independent is something I learned over time. I will never ask for help. And I strongly believe that I can make it on my own- without a man, without friends, without family. But I would, at some point in my life- like to fall in love. God willing, I will find someone who accepts me for who I am.

A unique girl who will laugh at anything, stand up for someone she doesn't know, be the one who does a wheely on the fourwheeler or a backflip into the pool when everyone else is scared- i'm the girl who stays to herself in the corner. I'm the girl u wont see. I'm the girl who will blow your mind if you just get to know me.

I promise you that.