It's been a while.

Hello. It's been a while since i've written. Good things have been happening to me, it took me some time to write about them because i'm scared if i wrote about them too quickly, they would just dissapear.

I finally got a job at Wegmans, and I got my permit.
So my life is starting to run on it's own track rather than everyone elses.
And it feels kind of.....nice. (knock on wood).

I've started to gain my social life back. Now that I have it back i finally realized how much i truely missed it. And yet, i'm still scared.

My long lost brother, has finally come back to us. Finally come back to my family. The brother who two months ago, i would've given anything to see or talk to one last time. And now that he's back,- oddly, i don't really feel like i've gained anything. I wish my brother would take me into his arms and embrace me and apologize for the lost time- but that will never happen. I'm finding it hard to forget everything that happened and just take him back into my life as if nothing ever happened- he makes it look easy. but time will tell.

The color of the moon doesn't seem the same to me anymore- i've learned to look at the world in different ways than always sad and dark. The world isn't that bad. I've finally realized that maybe the reason I wasn't happy is because I never gave myself the chance to let good come to me. I would push it away every chance I got.


I've realized that i've got plenty to look forward to in life;
- I graduate next year.
-College (Art Academy of San Fransico)
-Spending time with my brothers and sisters.
-Getting to know my nephew, Jaiden Michael.
-Watching my little cousins grow up.
-Having a family of my own, one day.
-Living.

I've got alot I could worry about. But I won't. What's the point? Right?