I've been feeling pretty worthless, lately.
I miss my little cousin.
My mother would rather spend time with an 80 year old woman than me.
My sister, Danielle, is too busy for me, now.
My grandparents hate me.
My sister, Ashley, wants me dead.
Today, I asked my mother if she wanted to spend time with me tomorrow and she pretty much flat out told me that she'd rather spend time with her friend Dorothy. Thank you, mom, for not sugar coating how much you hate me.
Why do people feel the need to hide shit from me? I wouldn't be such a ruthless bitch if people told me stuff straight up. Hiding stuff is the same as a lie. My little cousins, Breanna and Rion, who I never see anymore since they live in North Carolina- came to town last night. Thanks everyone, for not telling me. Cocksuckers. I don't even want to see them. Breanna pretty much helped my Grandfather delete me from his life. My grandpa doesn't like me because I am too depressed all the time. Grandparents are supposed to love you no matter what, endlessly. But I don't know what a love like that feels since my grandpa and grandma pretty much stopped loving me over night.
Apparently my sister, Meghan, has been spending alot of time with Breanna.
Ha. Thats funny. Because i've been trying to make plans with you for what? months now? And your my sister. I bet you wish I wasn't. I bet you wish I was Breanna. Because everyone loves her more. Uncle Tommy, Danny, Cousin Devon, Grandpa and Grandma, my own parents.
I just wish we could be little again. When everyone loved eachother and there was no competition.
I wish we could be the people we were before.
Look;
these people...
I miss my little cousin.
My mother would rather spend time with an 80 year old woman than me.
My sister, Danielle, is too busy for me, now.
My grandparents hate me.
My sister, Ashley, wants me dead.
Today, I asked my mother if she wanted to spend time with me tomorrow and she pretty much flat out told me that she'd rather spend time with her friend Dorothy. Thank you, mom, for not sugar coating how much you hate me.
Why do people feel the need to hide shit from me? I wouldn't be such a ruthless bitch if people told me stuff straight up. Hiding stuff is the same as a lie. My little cousins, Breanna and Rion, who I never see anymore since they live in North Carolina- came to town last night. Thanks everyone, for not telling me. Cocksuckers. I don't even want to see them. Breanna pretty much helped my Grandfather delete me from his life. My grandpa doesn't like me because I am too depressed all the time. Grandparents are supposed to love you no matter what, endlessly. But I don't know what a love like that feels since my grandpa and grandma pretty much stopped loving me over night.
Apparently my sister, Meghan, has been spending alot of time with Breanna.
Ha. Thats funny. Because i've been trying to make plans with you for what? months now? And your my sister. I bet you wish I wasn't. I bet you wish I was Breanna. Because everyone loves her more. Uncle Tommy, Danny, Cousin Devon, Grandpa and Grandma, my own parents.
I just wish we could be little again. When everyone loved eachother and there was no competition.
I wish we could be the people we were before.
Look;
these people...
I wish things could be how they used to be. Especially with my grandparents.
Dear Grandma and Grandpa,
How can you shut your grandchild out of your life without even giving a reason why?
I'm sorry i'm not perfect like Breanna. All I ever wanted was your approval. Grandma, I always used to listen to you complain about how Breanna never wore dresses. So I would go out and buy the prettiest dress and wear it and doll myself all up just for you. I was 10 years old and you never even looked my way. Grandpa, all I ever remember doing was trying to be your buddy while you were here. I remember asking to always go to the store with you or ask you to take me to the beach or to the mall, and I always got turned down. I also remember hating you because deep down I knew that you'd do it for Breanna or Rion if they asked. I remember being naughty all the time when Breanna was around, I knew she'd tell you and it seemed like that was the only way you'd pay attention to me. I remember being scared of you, Grandpa. You were like a ticking time bomb. You were almost always drunk and I always tried to stop you from drinking. I remember Grandma always yelling at me for biting my nails or sitting on the counter. And I remember not being able to eat Steaks or Porkchops but if Breanna batted her eyes she'd get a bite. I remember sitting in the corner eating my hotdog, hating Breanna. All i ever wanted was for you to accept me. Now I just don't care. You both are selfish and you only care about yourselves. Now I know that I know i'm not good enough for you. But thats okay. The only person I need to be good enough for is myself. Plain and simple. Grandpa, I remember last year I waited all day for you to call me and wish me a happy 16th birthday. I went to bed dissapointed on that day. I will never forgive you. I remember the time mom and dad went to Mexico and I stayed at Danielles. I remember you wouldn't let me come home. When I got home, Breanna and Rion were there. They told me that you took them to Sodus point and spent the week at the house watching movies with them. I absolutely hated your guts. I remember my dad telling me that you guys weren't coming over this summer. They never told me why. So I assumed it was because you didn't love me anymore. I was right. Dear grandpa, tonight I found out that u broke ur ribs falling off a deck. I'm telling you I don't feel bad at all. Maybe a sight of death will make u love me again. I'm sorry that you hate me. I hope your proud. Love, kelsey.
How can you shut your grandchild out of your life without even giving a reason why?
I'm sorry i'm not perfect like Breanna. All I ever wanted was your approval. Grandma, I always used to listen to you complain about how Breanna never wore dresses. So I would go out and buy the prettiest dress and wear it and doll myself all up just for you. I was 10 years old and you never even looked my way. Grandpa, all I ever remember doing was trying to be your buddy while you were here. I remember asking to always go to the store with you or ask you to take me to the beach or to the mall, and I always got turned down. I also remember hating you because deep down I knew that you'd do it for Breanna or Rion if they asked. I remember being naughty all the time when Breanna was around, I knew she'd tell you and it seemed like that was the only way you'd pay attention to me. I remember being scared of you, Grandpa. You were like a ticking time bomb. You were almost always drunk and I always tried to stop you from drinking. I remember Grandma always yelling at me for biting my nails or sitting on the counter. And I remember not being able to eat Steaks or Porkchops but if Breanna batted her eyes she'd get a bite. I remember sitting in the corner eating my hotdog, hating Breanna. All i ever wanted was for you to accept me. Now I just don't care. You both are selfish and you only care about yourselves. Now I know that I know i'm not good enough for you. But thats okay. The only person I need to be good enough for is myself. Plain and simple. Grandpa, I remember last year I waited all day for you to call me and wish me a happy 16th birthday. I went to bed dissapointed on that day. I will never forgive you. I remember the time mom and dad went to Mexico and I stayed at Danielles. I remember you wouldn't let me come home. When I got home, Breanna and Rion were there. They told me that you took them to Sodus point and spent the week at the house watching movies with them. I absolutely hated your guts. I remember my dad telling me that you guys weren't coming over this summer. They never told me why. So I assumed it was because you didn't love me anymore. I was right. Dear grandpa, tonight I found out that u broke ur ribs falling off a deck. I'm telling you I don't feel bad at all. Maybe a sight of death will make u love me again. I'm sorry that you hate me. I hope your proud. Love, kelsey.
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